Kiss with a Fist” is the debut single by indie rock band Florence and the Machine, taken from their debut studio album Lungs (2009).  Whether you are into Indie Rock or not, it’s subjective and everyone has their own taste in music.  Now that we have endeavoured not to insult anybody’s musical taste and interpretation of lyrics, we shall continue.

Florence sings* to a deep heavy rock beat…

A kick in the teeth is good for some
A kiss with a fist is better than none
Woah, a kiss with a fist is better than none

*(If you wish you can google the rest of the lyrics)

Well sorry, No Florence you are definitely wrong!  The lyrics (and the entire song) will resonate with too many people who have violent spouses, and are struggling with the coercive gaslighting that traps them in an unhealthy relationship.

Domestic Violence is not just physical violence,

The Domestic and Family Violence Act (Qld) 2012 at section 8 defines domestic violence as

8 (1)     “Domestic violence” means behaviour by a person (the “first person” ) towards another person (the “second person” ) with whom the first person is in a relevant relationship that—

(a) is physically or sexually abusive; or

(b) is emotionally or psychologically abusive; or

(c) is economically abusive; or

(d) is threatening; or

(e) is coercive; or

(f) in any other way controls or dominates the second person and causes the second person to fear for the second person’s safety or wellbeing or that of someone else.

8(2) Without limiting subsection (1) domestic violence includes the following behaviour—

(a) causing personal injury to a person or threatening to do so;

(b) coercing a person to engage in sexual activity or attempting to do so;

(c) damaging a person’s property or threatening to do so;

(d) depriving a person of the person’s liberty or threatening to do so;

(e) threatening a person with the death or injury of the person, a child of the person, or someone else;

(f) threatening to commit suicide or self-harm so as to torment, intimidate or frighten the person to whom the behaviour is directed;

(g) causing or threatening to cause the death of, or injury to, an animal, whether or not the animal belongs to the person to whom the behaviour is directed, so as to control, dominate or coerce the person;

(h) unauthorised surveillance of a person;

(i) unlawfully stalking a person.

(3) A person who counsels or procures someone else to engage in behaviour that, if engaged in by the person, would be domestic violence is taken to have committed domestic violence.

(4) To remove any doubt, it is declared that, for behaviour mentioned in subsection (2) that may constitute a criminal offence, a court may make an order under this Act on the basis that the behaviour is domestic violence even if the behaviour is not proved beyond a reasonable doubt.

(5) In this section—

“coerce” , a person, means compel or force a person to do, or refrain from doing, something.

“unauthorised surveillance” , of a person, means the unreasonable monitoring or tracking of the person’s movements, activities or interpersonal associations without the person’s consent, including, for example, by using technology.

Examples of surveillance by using technology—

  • reading a person’s SMS messages
  • monitoring a person’s email account or internet browser history
  • monitoring a person’s account with a social networking internet site
  • using a GPS device to track a person’s movements
  • checking the recorded history in a person’s GPS device

“unlawful stalking” see the Criminal Code section 359B .


A difference in opinion as to the whether you like a particular song, or how the lyrics can be interpreted is open for civilised banter with the courteous acceptance and respect that there can be a difference of opinion between a significant other.  Domestic Violence is not a subject of debate, tolerance and acceptance between a couple or the children. The following agencies can help you.

Do not hesitate to call 000 in an emergency and ask for the Police.

  •  1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) – This is a 24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line for anyone who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and / or sexual assault.
  • Menline Australia 1300 789 978 – supporting men and boys for a 24/7 phone and online support.
  •  Domestic Violence Service5591 4222 Southport and 5532 900 Beenleigh (Monday to Friday).
  • Kids Help Line – 1800 551 800 specifically for 5 – 25 year-olds.
  • Elder Abuse Help Line – 1800 353 374 – the Domestic Violence Act applies to anybody in a personal relationship, which includes not just your partner, but also your siblings, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews and cousins.
  • Financial Counselling Australia – 1800 007 007 – for free advice and access to resources to assist you leave your relationship.
  • Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636 – open to all ages and to everyone who is seeking help for their mental health.
  • Lifeline – 13 11 14

If you require legal assistance and further advice to assist you to assist you to say NO and to help protect you from future abuse do not hesitate to call one of our Gold Coast Family Lawyers or Logan Family Lawyers for free family law advice on telephone (07) 5679 8016.

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